


killing me softly

by mikararinna



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/mikararinna
Summary: "There is no body to prove his death.""Yet there is no indication that he is alive. We couldn't find a body, a lead, anything! I think it's time to accept that Donghyuck is not coming back, Renjun."
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, slight Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	killing me softly

**Author's Note:**

> write renmin twice and suddenly I dont know how to write renjun with any other member(s)
> 
> now with [vietnamese](https://truyenkul.net/story/trans-hyuckren-killing-me-softly/258986005.html) translation!

"Enemy at your 2 o'clock," 

"Can't you just say there's someone at my right? Why do you trouble yourself, Renjun?" 

"Shut up, Hyuck and focus or you're going to get shot."

"Isn't that fun? And then you'll finally be on field with me,"

"If the enemy doesn't shoot you soon, I might."

"Was it really wise to have Renjun as Donghyuck's guide? I feel like they're both going to get killed and Renjun isn't even on the field." Jeno sighed into his earpiece connected to Donghyuck and Jaemin who were on-field. 

Jaemin huffed out a laugh. Quiet so to not alert the enemy but enough for everyone else with an earpiece to hear. 

"Donghyuck and Renjun's banters are the only reason why I agree to be on-field. It helps alleviate the nervousness." Jaemin said. 

"We're not a comedy show, Jaemin." Renjun retorted. 

Jeno hummed. "Well, surely seem like one."

"Aw, don't be too sad, Renjun. I think we make a great comedy duo," Donghyuck answered, barely containing his laugh. 

"We won't be the best one if you get shot-" Renjun hissed when his monitor noticed movement to Donghyuck's right. 

One of the guards probably had picked out on something going wrong. He started trekking towards where Donghyuck was and Renjun held his breath. Before he got to alert Donghyuck on the approaching enemy, there was the sound of a crack and then a muffled thud. Renjun's eyes were on his monitor, observing the silent but quick motions of Donghyuck as he knocked out the enemy. 

"I can't die so soon. Who's going to walk you home after work?" Donghyuck huffed out, dragging the fainted body to a corner.

There was no blood. No need for it at least. The guard didn't catch Donghyuck's face so it should be safe for now. Donghyuck let him rest against the wall, cracking his knuckles at his completed task. 

Renjun clenched his fist tightly, holding in his anger. He could feel Jeno's worried glance on him but refused to meet the other's eyes. 

"Just… be careful," Renjun reminded, sighing. 

There was a pause, a short silence between them and then Donghyuck pressed a few buttons on his gears. On the monitor, Renjun could see that he set his audio to only be connected with Renjun's earpiece momentarily. 

"I will. You know I always do, right?" Donghyuck said, voice soft and gentle. The monitor didn't allow much to see except for Donghyuck's figure but through his words, Renjun could imagine his reassuring smile. 

Renjun hummed. He knew he shouldn't be too worried. They worked in a field where blood and death came hand in hand. There was no avoiding it no matter how detailed they were during missions. But there was no harm in being careful. Which was what Renjun always reminded Donghyuck. 

Even if Donghyuck teased and fooled around during missions, Renjun knew he was careful. And the faith he put on Donghyuck was more than he had faith in himself at shooting a bullseye. So that was to say something. But there was an itching feeling in his guts since earlier this morning. Renjun had no idea what it was and shrugged it off as a possible flu bug. 

Despite this, his mind constantly reminded him that it was otherwise. 

Perhaps it was the years of doing missions and seeing nothing but red stains and hearing nothing but gunshots. But even then, Renjun hadn’t felt as squirmish as he felt right at this moment. There was a bubbling nervousness at the pit of his stomach, something telling him that it was bound to go wrong. There shouldn’t be any mishaps however. Both him and Jeno had made sure that they were off the enemy’s radar. Even if they had foreseen a problem, Donghyuck and Jaemin were skilled in combat.

They would survive. 

“Grab the stolen jewel and bolt, right? What was the name? Angel’s Teardrop?” Jaemin repeated the instructions given to them. 

“Hm, might as well grab the remaining jewel and not just the Angel’s Teardrop,” Donghyuck muttered out.

“Do you want to get killed?” Renjun deadpanned. 

“Nah, dying’s not fun,” Donghyuck answered. 

“Just snatch the Angel’s Teardrop and leave, guys. Don’t do anything unnecessary that Johnny won’t approve of,” Jeno reminded them. 

“Ugh, Johnny’s no fun,” Donghyuck mumbled out. “Work for the government, they say. Be a secret agent, they say. It will be fun, they say. All I get is emotional trauma and naming my bruises after each mission.”

“Hey, the pay’s good though,” Jaemin chimed in. 

“Yes, but when I’m 50 and retired and they have to kill me because I hold the government's top secret, what will the money be for? My non-existent children?”

“Eh, it’s not all bad. At least you’ll have your face at the hall of spies,” Jeno joked. 

“And have all the new agents regret not being born and joining the facility earlier because they could’ve worked with the most handsome and talented Agent Hyuck? That is an honour,”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Maybe if Agent Hyuck shut the hell up, he won’t miss the door to where the Angel’s Teardrop is,” 

“Wait, I missed it?”

“By two doors.”

“Dang it,”

Renjun watched through his monitor as both Donghyuck and Jaemin reversed their steps. They stopped in front of a wooden door. It didn’t look suspicious at all, or looked like it was hiding precious jewelry. In fact, there was definitely nothing distinctive on the door to separate it from the others. The suitable place to hide a stolen prized jewelry.

They were silent as Jaemin proceeded to pick at the locks. Missions like this were easy. They could just pick a lock, grab what they were assigned to take and leave stealthily. Maybe knock out a few men in between. But aside from that, the missions rarely dragged on for longer than necessary. 

Words weren't needed either most of the time, but their team had several chatterboxes and it helped in easing the tense atmosphere. 

Everything went on smoothly. Jaemin picked the lock, the door opened and the Angel's Teardrop was right there in the middle of the room. The two on-field agents wasted no time in entering the room to retrieve the jewel. 

"Isn't this too easy?" Renjun whispered to no one in particular. 

"Do you want it to be difficult?" Donghyuck asked. "The quicker we're done, the faster we can leave this place. Besides, our missions have always been easy,"

"But not this easy," Renjun reasoned. "There's always more guards, more traps, more security." He turned towards Jeno. "Don't you think it's a bit too convenient for us?"

Jeno frowned. He looked over the monitor. Nothing was out of place and Donghyuck was preparing to secure the necklace and leave. 

"Maybe… there's just, nothing, I guess?" Jeno replied. 

"Don't worry, guys," Jaemin started. "Donghyuck and I are done here and we would leave soon with no trouble," 

The glass case that once held the stolen Angel's Teardrop was empty. Jaemin gave a nod at Donghyuck and they left the room. The moment they stepped out of the room and the door closed however, a siren rang. 

"Shit, what was that?" Donghyuck asked in urgency.

"Warning siren. Hell, I knew something was wrong." Renjun cursed, switching his monitors. "Take left, they're coming from your right," 

"There's an air vent somewhere in the third corridor that you can escape to," Jeno started. He clicked on his mouse urgently. "Wait, no, don't go there." 

"Then where the hell are we supposed to go?" Jaemin hissed. 

"There's too many," Jeno stated. "We need to call back up,"

"We don't need back up. Jaemin and I can shoot them down and bolt out of here," 

"Don't be stubborn, Hyuck. There's too many of them and only two of you." Renjun scolded. "Jeno and I can't reach there in time to help but I think we can call in the nearby teams," 

"Team J should be somewhere near there," Jeno said, clicking away on his gears. "I think I can get the teams near the Neozone base too," 

"We don't need back up." Donghyuck insisted. 

There was the sound of gunshots, someone yelling and loud thumpings. Renjun frowned. The monitors showed Donghyuck and Jaemin in combat with ten other guards. 

"There's too many of them," 

"And enough experience on our part." Jaemin chimed in as he shot another guard. "We'll survive," 

"I've already alerted the Neozone base,"

"I told you we don't need back up!"

"Do you want to die pointlessly then?" 

Donghyuck huffed. "I won't die. I can't die anyways. Dying is for the weak."

"Continue being snobby and you might- Hyuck, your right!"

A swift punch to his right and Donghyuck successfully knocked down a guard. "I got it, Renjun." 

"Renjun, Renjun, we need to go-" 

"What?" Renjun snapped his head towards Jeno. 

The other's eyes were wide as he stared at his monitor. Renjun looked over to what he was seeing. There was a male, smirking directly at their hidden camera. No one should be able to find that. Jeno and Renjun had hid it well enough that not even a fly would notice it. 

The male in front of the camera mouthed something that Renjun could barely decipher. 

And then he covered the camera with his hand. 

"Renjun, we have to go," Jeno urged him, already pulling off his headset and grabbing Renjun by the wrist. 

"But Donghyuck and Jaemin-" 

"They'll be fine. Backup will come soon. We need to go, Renjun or they'll have us. Grab your gun, come on, let's go!" Jeno urged on. 

He tugged at Renjun's wrist, careful to not hurt him but strong enough to pull him out of the chair. Reluctantly, Renjun grabbed his gun from the holster, securing it in his hand, in case it's usage was called for. He managed a glance at the monitor where he could see the chaos unfolding, Donghyuck and Jaemin's figures obscured by the increasing number of guards. The last thing he saw was Donghyuck's indicator blinking a bright green. 

"They'll make it, Jun, don't worry." Jeno assured him as they sneaked their way out of the hideout. 

If the enemy had found Donghyuck and Jaemin, it wouldn't be long for them to find him and Jeno. They knew where they were. This was a trap. 

"They'll come out alive. Maybe they'll be at headquarters before we even reach there." 

Jaemin limped into headquarters three hours after their mission went wrong, blood all over his body. 

And Donghyuck… 

Donghyuck never came back. 

"Renjun, what is Donghyuck to you?" Johnny asked, staring at him. Renjun blinked, his breathing starting to get erratic.

"He was-" Renjun hesitated. "He's my best friend, sir. I've known him for so long I- I just can't seem to fully accept he's not there anymore."

"And that's where the problem lies, Renjun. He's dead-"

"There is no body to prove his death."

"Yet there is no indication that he is alive. We couldn't find a body, a lead, anything! Donghyuck was one of our best agents, he would've survived the scene but we still have no news of him. Whether he's dead or alive, all we know is that, he's no longer here." Johnny said.

Renjun looked down. He processed every bit and detail that were presented. Johnny was right to an extent. Without any evidence, it was safe to assume that Donghyuck had betrayed them.

Johnny sighed. "Do you remember Winwin?"

Renjun looked at him. "How can I forget? He trained me, we were so close. He was like my brother."

Johnny gave him a tight-lipped smile. "And we mourn his death. Winwin didn't have much evidence too, except for... his ashes. But we knew he was dead, no longer to this world. I wouldn't say it, but the same case possibly applied for Donghyuck. You work in a field Renjun, where death is inevitable. It doesn't matter how careful you are, it will come, eventually. Just like how death knocks at the door of innocent civilians on a sunny day. And us? We work in the storm. Death visits us sooner than we know. Some might say he carries the umbrella over us."

Death was inevitable when it came to their line of work. But what if there wasn't death? Renjun was so sure of it. Felt it in his guts like he did on the day the mission went wrong.

"Look, I think, you need some time for yourself." Renjun's head snapped up to look at his boss. Johnny gave him a mournful look.

"How about, a break? Just, take some time for yourself, travel the world or relax, I don't know. Do something that will take your mind off this issue. It's been weeks and you're still bothered over what happened. Maybe you need some rest." Johnny told him.

"But sir-"

"Rest, alright? We won't bother you. Mark and Yuta will take over your team for the moment. I'm sure Jaemin and Jeno would want you to rest, too. They're worried about you after what happened and I doubt they have recovered over it either."

Renjun closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. "Is this the best choice?"

"For the time being, yes. We'll give you as much time as you need, Renjun. The door will still be open for you when you're ready."

The moment Donghyuck went missing, Renjun had spent a long time thinking. There was something he and Donghyuck agreed upon if anything were to happen to any of them. And that was to not lose faith in each other. Renjun knew that taking a break from work would not suffice. He would still think about what happened; he would still wonder about Donghyuck. But he also knew that there was nothing to be provided for him if he were to be around.

He needed to do this on his own.

"I understand." Renjun replied. "I would take you up on that offer."

Johnny gave him a smile. "Good. You're free to go off the radar, just as long as you notify us of your well being every week. Just to make sure you don't disappear on us."

Renjun nodded his head. "I won't."

"Renjun!" Jaemin wailed, hugging the smaller male tightly when Renjun broke the news to them. "I'm gonna miss you,"

Renjun looked at the pile of clothes on his bed. He had started packing the minimal things he owned from the provided accommodation to bring with. Maybe he could go shopping too while he was on hiatus.

"I'm not going to be off duty for long, idiot." Renjun reprimanded him.

"But it will take a while, won't it?" Jeno asked, standing a step away behind them.

Renjun gave him a tense smile. "Probably."

"It's okay, Junnie. Take all the time you need." Jaemin mumbled, pulling away. "I'm just saddened you're leaving us with Mark and Yuta. Mark, I could handle. But Yuta? God, he would stab me before the enemy even gets here."

"He wouldn't. He trained you, didn't he?" Renjun said.

"And that's exactly why he would stab me!" Jaemin shout-whispered. "He's going to scrutinize my every attack. I'm no longer protected."

Renjun pat his back. "Jeno's around to save you. You can just ask Jeno to be on-field with you instead."

Jeno scrunched up his nose in distaste when Renjun turned to look at him. "I'll pass. Field work isn't my thing anymore."

"You'll have to. It's either me or you now, Jen. If Hyuck doesn't return soon." Renjun said.

Jeno and Jaemin looked at each other briefly. They huddled closer towards Renjun.

"You know you can trust us, right?" Jeno whispered. Renjun arched an eyebrow at them.

"I know." He answered.

"We can't help much as long as we're in the facility but we'll reach out to you if we ever find anything." Jaemin nodded his head.

"You two are kind of scaring me here," Renjun muttered.

"Carrots, right?" Jeno laughed, voice loud for almost everyone on the floor to hear.

"Right, Jen?" Jaemin said, following him with his own boisterous laughter. "The need for packaging is a bit over the top for me. It's just carrots. Unless it's baby carrots, then I'll have to agree."

Renjun arched an eyebrow at them to conceal his worried frown. "Oh, you'll be surprised when you hear about how they pack their radishes."

"Oh, right. Can't single out the radishes. Makes me crave for some radish kimchi," Jaemin hummed, nodding his head.

"And you know who makes the best radish kimchi?" Jeno asked, looking at Jaemin. They grinned.

"The lady in Jeju,"

Renjun suppressed a frightened shiver from travelling across his body. The united voice of Jaemin and Jeno echoing in his ear loud and clear. They looked at him, eyes clear but with a hint of concern that only Renjun noticed.

"We should go on a trip to Jeju next time," Renjun suggested.

Jaemin chuckled. "Tell us that in another lifetime when we're not spies at risk."

"You should go. Jaemin and I still need to prepare for our next mission too." Jeno said, giving him another hug. He glanced towards Renjun's things. "Everything packed?"

"That's everything all right," Renjun sighed.

"We should really do some shopping."

Renjun shook his head. "Maybe later."

He looked at his two teammates, resisting the urge to cry.

"It's my fault," Jaemin whispered. "If I didn't leave Donghyuck behind-" 

"Even if you were to stay with him, there's no guarantee that either of you will come back," Renjun told him. "I'm just relieved that at least one of you made it out alive. Don't blame yourself, please. You did what Hyuck told you to do. He'll be happy to know that you're safe." 

Jaemin looked at him. Renjun could see the regret in his eyes. Losing a team member in a mission was a lot to handle. The emotional baggage was usually way beyond what they prepared for. But it wasn't Jaemin's fault. He did what he could. The moment he came back from the mission he was unconscious for the next few days. It was wise of Donghyuck to tell them to split up and head to headquarters on their own.

Otherwise, Renjun would be missing two members instead of one. And that on its own was something he rather not think about. 

"You'll keep us in touch, right?" Jaemin asked.

"Of course, you're all I have left," Renjun mumbled.

They settled for another group hug. Odd. Most people thought that spies, agents, mafias, any line of work with blood usually in their hands were people of disconnection. No form of empathy, lack of love and trust. Those who would rather befriend an enemy than make friends with a potential one. Or sacrifice comfort for the safety of others.

But it was always different with them. Renjun had always had a sense of attachment to his team, towards Jeno, Jaemin and especially Donghyuck. He wouldn't know how to survive without any of them.

"Stay safe. Okay?" Jaemin whispered as he pulled away.

Renjun nodded his head. "I will."

Renjun stood at his balcony, a glass of wine twirling in one hand while the other held a cigarette stick, arm resting under his elbow. He wasn't one to smoke. Hell, he wasn't one to drink either. Being a spy had robbed him of that joy. Unless that joy was put in the context of a mission then that was an exception. But the past weeks' events bothered him enough to pick up the wine bottle and the cigarette pack in the bathroom cabinets.

It was out of his elements. Renjun never liked the acidic aftertaste of nicotine or the bitter flavour of wine. Yet it helped in keeping him sane.

He could use these alternatives for the time being.

He watched as the sun rose from the horizon. It was another one of those sleepless nights, mind huddled by something he remembered before he left for his hiatus.

Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Donghyuck had specially made a code for their team. It was the result of a nasty incident that left all of them scarred to their bones. It was an agreement made upon after a year of trusting each other.

The code was simple and easy to comprehend, as long as they picked it up soon after it was said. The code usually consisted of foods – vegetables, fruits, any raw ingredients – and would be wrapped up with a final dish. They usually used those for special occasions; if they felt unsafe, watched, listened in on.

But Jaemin and Jeno had used it inside the spy facility.

While he could understand if they didn't want the other agents to eavesdrop, it was a bit of a stretch to use it so casually. And urgently, too. They had used one of the more complex code, one that neither of them had used before. Renjun felt an unsettling feeling set in. It couldn't be that they were getting watched in a secured area, right?

"Oh, hello there, neighbour!" Renjun jolted out of his thoughts.

He turned around, seeing a tall male standing at the balcony of the neighbouring house. His smile was bright, blonde hair curling around a small face.

"I haven't seen someone living in this house beside me for years, I thought it was vacant. It's nice to meet you. I'm Lucas," His neighbour introduced himself.

"I'm Jun," Renjun replied.

"Jun?"

"Jun." Renjun said, nodding his head. "Just... Jun."

Lucas nodded his head. "I won't question it. People move to the countryside to seek a new life always. I'm assuming you too?"

Renjun shrugged his shoulders. "Sort of. I'm here to relax and unwind a little. Had a tough time at work."

"Great choice." Lucas said. "Enjoy your time. Go sightseeing, take a walk, have a bottle of champagne in the middle of daylight." Lucas gestured towards his wine glass then laughed. "There's much to do. I'll leave you to it. Have a great day, neighbour,"

With that, he retreated back to his house. Renjun watched as his figure soon disappeared. Well, at least he knew he wouldn't be completely alone now. 

Renjun startled awake. He frowned. He always knew that he was a light sleeper – being on missions had taught him that sleep never came easy. But it was still weird for Renjun to be awake suddenly. The villa that he currently stayed in has a strong security protection. It was a joint effort of him and his team. No one could break into it easily. 

Still, there was something twisting in his guts. Silently, Renjun fished out the gun he placed in between the crack of the mattress and the bed frame. He removed and quietly shuffled out of bed. 

Renjun peeked out the curtains. It was still dark outside, probably around 4 or 5 in the morning. It was impossible for a break in to happen at this hour. This was the time where his neighbours would usually be awake for work or other mundane activities. It would be pretty fucking stupid for a burglar to break in now. 

He walked towards the door, grateful that he had left it slightly opened. Renjun slithered his way out of the opened entryway. 

The villa was still new. It rarely made noise so Renjun didn't have to worry if a possible criminal would be aware that the resident of this villa was awake now. Renjun tiptoed to the living room, eyeing every corner as he went. 

At the back of his mind he remembered the training he had gone through before he became a spy. Winwin had been brutal with his training back then. The scars of his training were still visible all over his body. But the outcome of it was beautiful. Well, as beautiful as still being alive would be. 

The villa was eerily quiet. Certainly, there was no break in. Perhaps the events of the past months were still bothering him, causing him to be paranoid and interrupt his sleep. 

Renjun sighed, turning around and ready to get back to bed. 

That was when someone pulled him tight, covering his mouth and locking his hand to the back. Renjun muffled out a scream. He trashed around trying to resist the grip the stranger had on him. Damn it, the lack of on-field participation was starting to take a toll on his physicality. 

"Shh, it's me." The stranger whispered beside his ear. 

Renjun stiffened before he relaxed in the other's hold. The stranger loosened his hold on Renjun and turned him around. Jaemin had the audacity to grin at him when Renjun glared. 

"You couldn't have just knocked on the door like a normal person?" Renjun asked. 

"I'm a spy, what's the fun in that?" Jaemin chuckled before he turned serious. "Also, I was afraid I might be followed."

Renjun shivered. "By who?" 

Jaemin looked around. He walked towards the verandah, closing the curtains until not a gap was left. He took Renjun's hand then dragged him into the bedroom and then the bathroom. He locked the door, eyes roaming around before he sighed in relief. 

"Is all this necessary? The villa is secure, Jaemin. We made sure of that," Renjun said, voice quiet. "Where's Jeno?"

"He's covering for me. We had a mission nearby and we knew this is the only chance we have to tell you." Jaemin replied. He looked at Renjun, eyes serious and sincere. "Listen, Jun, I want you to take this in strides. Jeno and I found important information."

"What is it?" Renjun asked, impatient. 

"Donghyuck is alive." Jaemin said. Renjun's eyes widened. He was about to say something when Jaemin cut him off. "But, he's not- he's not the Donghyuck we know of, Renjun."

Renjun frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jaemin inhaled deeply and stared Renjun straight in the eyes. "Two weeks ago, Johnny gave us a mission-" 

"Jaemin, how does this-"

"Listen, please. Two weeks ago, we were given a mission to infiltrate the Vision base. You know them, don't you? They're the ones that Johnny always have us up their asses. Few days before we were supposed to execute the mission, Johnny pulled Jeno and I out of the mission. Jeno thought nothing at first but they told Yuta and Mark to proceed with Jungwoo and Jaehyun. Which, obviously, pissed off mine and Jeno's ego enough for us to riot against it. Like, why would they pull Jeno and I out? We're just as good as Jungwoo and Jaehyun." 

Renjun nodded his head. He understood Jeno and Jaemin's situation. While it might seem ideal to have yourself pulled out of a mission, it scratch a scar on their egos especially if they had been preparing for this mission for a long time. It was no doubt that Jaemin and Jeno would be pissed and told Johnny to put them back on for the mission.

"Johnny relented in the end and made us go for the mission with the four. Jaehyun, Jeno and I were on-field. Everything was going fine until the Vision agents managed to track us down. Jeno and I got split from Jaehyun and we went to this room and- that's where we saw Donghyuck," 

Renjun frowned. "Donghyuck is in the Vision base?"

Jaemin nodded his head, lips tight. "We tried to persuade him back but- but Donghyuck said it's not happening. He won't budge. He told us to leave before he did something he'll regret. Jeno had to drag me out before the Vision agents found us. Got one hell of a scolding from Yuta." 

"Donghyuck... is in the Vision base..?"

"Renjun, I think- I think they might've done something to him."

"What... do you mean?" Renjun asked, afraid of the answer. 

The Vision base was strong. They were influential and powerful. Even though they mainly kept to themselves, no one could keep a blind eye to their capabilities. They were dangerous and Johnny had always told them to keep their eyes open when they were near the Vision area.

"I think the Vision base might have Hyuck on a gun hold." Jaemin said. 

"You think they're holding him captive?" Renjun asked. 

Jaemin nodded his head. "That, and maybe something more, something worse. Why else would Hyuck be in their base? He's a talented agent, Renjun. He could have easily slipped out of their grasp." 

"The Vision base is a dangerous team," Renjun reminded him. "For all we know, they threatened him to stay for their benefits," 

"And I won't cancel out that possibility. Jeno thought of the same thing too," Jaemin told him. 

Renjun nodded his head. That was a high possibility. Again, the Vision base was a dangerous team. If anyone were to provoke them, there was no guarantee that the person would still be alive. Renjun frowned, remembering the details from earlier. 

"So you think the Vision agents are following you now?" Renjun asked. 

"Them and... maybe someone else," Jaemin whispered. 

"Who?"

"Johnny,"

"Johnny?"

"Well, not Johnny specifically," Jaemin started. "But probably some of Johnny's high ranked men. Renjun, why did you think Jeno and I gave you that code before you left?"

"So I can get to the villa safely?"

"That, and something else. Now, why do you think Johnny wanted to pull Jeno and I out of the mission last minute?"

"Because it's dangerous?" Renjun said and Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. No, that can't be right. They've had way more dangerous missions than this. "Because- because Hyuck is there?"

"More likely," Jaemin nodded his head. "Johnny knows, and maybe so do the higher rank agents."

"So... you're saying we shouldn't trust Johnny?" 

"Remember what he always says to his agents?"

"Betrayal is easy in our line of work. One rather befriend an enemy than make friends with a potential one," Renjun recited the two lines that Johnny had told them in the beginning of their career. 

"Doesn't it make sense?" Jaemin asked. "He knew where Donghyuck was and yet he never told any of us. He's hiding something,"

"But Hyuck is his best agent-"

"And you wouldn't think he would betray Hyuck? Or us?" Jaemin said. "Renjun, I'm not saying you should distrust him completely but, I want you to be careful. They always say that the Vision base is powerful but people tend to forget that we have Johnny Suh in the playground." 

Renjun looked down. Truly, Johnny wasn't one that you could just overlook. Sure, he didn't do field work anymore in lieu of assigning missions but if he was, he would be one of the deadliest agents. His influence, his power and his mere name would have any agents and mafia shaking. 

"We should be careful." Renjun said in finality. "And you should be more careful. You and Jeno. You've seen Hyuck and you're working on-field. It would be more dangerous for the both of you."

Jaemin gave him a small smile. "I know. I'll relay the message to Jeno. We'll be careful." 

Unable to suppress his emotions, Renjun pulled Jaemin into a hug. He squeezed the other, exhaling a nervous breath. Donghyuck was alive. They had to bring him back and Renjun's team would finally be complete. 

"Please be careful. You, Jeno and Donghyuck are the only ones I have left," Renjun whispered urgently. 

Jaemin returned the hug, nuzzling against him. "I promise. Jeno and I will keep each other safe. We'll be careful. And you too, be careful. You're all we have left, aside from each other."

Renjun pulled away. His ability to cry had long left him. All he knew was the painful clench of his heart and the sting of his eyes that will become a pounding headache later in the day. 

"We'll get Hyuck back, right?"

"Yes. We will." 

"Champagne in daylight again? I should be worried about my neighbour's liver." Renjun turned to his side to see Lucas staring back at him, a pipe in hand.

"Don't be because I'm not," Renjun replied. "Also it's white wine," 

"Interesting choice." Lucas said before staring ahead. "How's that relaxation time going for you?"

"It's going, somewhat," Renjun answered him. 

Oh, there was no relaxation happening for Renjun at all. 

"Don't stress about it too much. The countryside has much to offer. Why not go out and sightsee?" Lucas suggested. 

"In the morning, maybe. I'm not much of a sightseeing person,"

"Ah, bummer. I can offer to take you around."

"No thanks," Renjun said, smiling politely. 

There was a sudden crash inside the villa. Renjun tensed. He glanced inside but could barely see anything from his verandah. He looked at Lucas who seemed to be far gone in his daydreaming. At least the other didn't hear what was going on. 

"I better head in. It's getting colder," Renjun excused himself. 

Lucas nodded his head. "Have a nice evening, neighbour."

Renjun slipped back into the villa. He locked the sliding doors and carefully pulled the curtains close. When he turned around, he noticed splotches of red on the wooden floors. He sighed, walking over to the bathroom in the master bedroom. 

In the bathtub was a bloody Jeno and beside him was Jaemin who was trying to wash out the blood from his clothes. Renjun let out a pained noise as he crouched down near them. 

"What the hell happened?" Renjun hissed. 

"I shouldn't have gone on-field. Everything is starting to look like bad decision making." Jeno moaned out. 

"I told you to be careful. Not get shot and drag your bloody bodies here a week later!"

"Do you think we wanted to?" Jaemin groaned. 

"Why didn't you head over to the medical facility? Why head here?" Renjun asked, walking away to grab his medical supplies. 

"Too risky," Jeno coughed out. 

Renjun cut open his vest. He could see a few wounds from missed bullets and a large gaping one caused by a knife. He frowned, taking the needle and thread from the medical box. Carefully, Renjun tried to stitch the open wound with Jeno wincing and fidgeting every few seconds. 

"Calm down," Renjun soothes him. "Close combat?"

"It was Hyuck," Jaemin sighed out, picking up materials to fix up his own wounds. 

Renjun would have paused in his stitching if he didn't notice how Jeno was at the brink of fainting. He lost a lot of blood and if Renjun didn't stop the overflowing of it, they might lose Jeno. 

"What exactly happened?" Renjun asked. He needed details because it was not often that he received two bloody team members in his villa, caused by a missing team member of his. 

"Vision base," Jeno answered, in between groans. 

"Again?" 

"Partly because Johnny assigned us. Partly because we wanted to," Jaemin said. 

"I told you guys to be careful, not walk back into the lion's den in the next minute,"

"It was a mission,"

"Was it?" Renjun asked, looking at either of them. "Or was it another one of your bad decision making?"

Jeno and Jaemin looked at each other. Their faces were stricken with guilt. It was silent between them as Renjun finished up his stitching on Jeno's wound. The heavily injured male winced before turning away. 

"You tell him," Jeno said. 

"Me? Really?" Jaemin asked.

"I have no words."

"What's going on?" Renjun intervened. 

They had never assigned a leader for their team. Each of them had their own speciality; hacks, weapons, combats, it varied. But unanimously, they made Renjun the shadow leader. He didn't boss them around or assigned tasks for them, no. Yet, they listened to him and obeyed his commands – well, most of the time – whenever he spoke. It was some kind of mutual respect over him that they developed after years of completing missions together. 

"We… weren't exactly assigned," Jaemin mumbled out. 

Renjun's gaze on him was stern. "What do you mean?"

"The previous mission we had, the night I came to you, was the last one we were given." Jaemin whispered. "We're dismissed."

"Dismissed?"

"It's not… our fault. Well, not that I can think of but Johnny dismissed us from any new missions for the time being. He told us to stay close to the Vision base and that's it. Do nothing but be near," Jeno continued. 

"Do nothing… but be near," Renjun repeated. "And you decided to crash the Vision base?"

"It was a desperate decision!"

"Of what, Jaemin?" Renjun hissed. "You decided on a desperate way to potentially kill yourself? A suicide mission?" 

"It was a desperate decision…" Jaemin muttered softly. 

"We wanted to get Hyuck back," Jeno answered on behalf of them. "We just- we don't know. Jaemin and I thought it was a good idea at that moment. Infiltrate the Vision base and kidnap Donghyuck. It sounded so easy then,"

"And now you have a stab wound courtesy of Donghyuck. Easy peasy, right?" Renjun scoffed. 

The silence around them hung tense in the atmosphere. Jeno didn't seem to want to leave his place from the bathtub and Jaemin didn't look like he wanted to remove himself from the cold bathroom tiles either. Renjun looked at either of them. 

They were tired, obviously they were. Getting stabbed by a team member they thought was dead wasn't exactly the best kind of surprise. The years of murders and running away was reflected on their faces. An emotional baggage they constantly carry perhaps till death. Not given a chance to rid off. 

It was one of the curses for being in their line of work. 

"We don't know what else to do," Jeno whispered out. "Johnny doesn't feel trustable anymore. Hyuck is- Hyuck is in the enemy's base. He refuses to come back and I don't know. I don't know if one day, when we have each other at gunpoint, whether I'll have the guts to pull the trigger," 

Renjun took pity on them. He could help. Go back to their base and have Johnny assigned him a mission at Vision base. He could get Donghyuck and maybe Johnny would stop insisting that Donghyuck was dead. 

But Renjun doubted that it would be as easy as that. Johnny was hiding something. And not just him, maybe. Perhaps the whole facility was hiding something. In on a secret that only his team was unaware of. 

The desperation that Jaemin and Jeno felt was caused by the uncertainty regarding the facility. Someone had the answer to the reasons of the past events that had been unfolding right before their eyes. Johnny wouldn’t tell which meant that they only had Donghyuck to ask. 

“You won’t be holding him at a gunpoint,” Renjun told him, standing up. “And neither will he,”

Jaemin looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“The two of you better heal fast while I make the plans,” Renjun said. “We’re crashing the Vision base.”

“We’ll get Hyuck back and come out alive?” Jeno asked.

Renjun grinned. “Of course we will. We’re the dream team afterall,”

Planning was important to Renjun. He liked to be organized, have plans, backup plans, backup plans for those backup plans and conjuring possible alternatives to the main plan. It was important for Renjun to know that the percentage of failure was as low as it could get. That was why he spent hours deciding on what to do.

The Vision base was a tricky place to enter. You couldn't just bomb the front door; and sneaking into the facility that was heavily guarded wasn't ideal either. He knew the floor plan to Vision base, but deciding on how to enter it had always been a problem for them. 

Possibly why they never let Renjun's team do any missions near the Vision base. They didn't know where to start, it would be a miracle that they would make it out alive. 

"There's a back door here," Jeno said, pointing at one of the areas of the printed floor plan. "That's where Jaemin and I escaped last time. I think it's where their supplies unload," 

"Supplies?" Renjun asked. 

Jeno shrugged his shoulders. "Possibly explosives or drugs. Not sure either." 

"But that's near the command room where we found Hyuck, right?" Jaemin confirmed. 

Jeno nodded his head. "It should be somewhere there. This is the same floor plan Yuta laid out when we first infiltrated Vision base with them. Unless they made sudden overnight changes, it should be the same." 

"So here is where you found Donghyuck," Renjun said, marking the area. "We could start here… Don't you think it's a bit weird?"

"What is?" Jaemin asked. 

"That Donghyuck went missing after our last mission and suddenly he's in Vision base. But there's no news of him. Not even a word that he had betrayed the facility or anything. Suddenly, he's just there and you guys saw him," Renjun stated. 

Jaemin sighed. "That's what we're wondering too. Do you think… Hyuck doesn't want to come back?" 

"To the facility?" Jeno asked. 

Jaemin shook his head. "To us," 

Silence engulfed them. Renjun had pondered this question before. It was a possibility. Being a government secret agent had its burden. Perhaps Donghyuck decided he had enough of it and wanted to leave them for good. 

"He wouldn't abandon us," Renjun replied, voice stern. 

"What makes you so sure of that?"

Renjun looked at them. "You were there in Vision base, weren't you? Donghyuck probably knows that you were there. He could've just avoided you but why would he show up in front of you?" 

"And there was that night too…" Jeno muttered. "When we went into Vision base, why didn't we see any other Vision agents?" 

Jaemin frowned. "You mean to say that Donghyuck was waiting for us?" 

"That means that the Vision base is in on this too," Renjun said. 

"But why?" Jaemin asked. "What does the government have that the Vision base wants? Is it potentially harmful to the public? And why does it have anything to do with us?" 

"Just sitting here and asking the questions won't really give us an answer, you know?" Jeno pointed out. 

Renjun sighed. He looked down at the floor plan, notes and markers here and there. It would be one hell of a plan. 

"Guess it's time to see the vision," 

Jaemin snorted. "And hopefully we would still have our vision when this is over. I can live without a finger but I rather keep my eyesight, thank you very much." 

Renjun rolled his eyes. "So, Vision base at midnight?" 

"Right behind you, Jun." 

Renjun thought he would feel more nervous, uneased, an unpleasant twist in the gut. Instead he felt calm. Oddly calm. 

They managed to sneak into the Vision through the back door rather easily. There were no guards, no security cameras and there wasn’t a sudden attack either. It was a simple way in. As if the door was left opened just for them.

As if someone was expecting their arrival. 

That should be concerning. In other situations, Renjun would feel restless at how there wasn’t an obstacle that stopped them at all. But tonight he didn’t. He only felt reassured. Perhaps it was that easy, even if it didn’t make sense. 

A mafia base as well-known as Vision could never leave their base unattended. Yet they did and here was Renjun, Jaemin and Jeno sneaking into it. 

“It’s quiet,” Jeno whispered. 

“Do you think they would just leave the base unattended like this? Isn’t it risky?” Jaemin asked. 

“It is,” Renjun mumbled. “Do you think they know?”

“We do,” Renjun’s breath hitched. He tried to turn around but the cold press of a gun against his skin stopped him. “Move and we’ll pull the trigger.”

“We’re here in peace,” Renjun said.

“Sneaking into a mafia base isn’t exactly coming in peace, isn’t it? Knocking at the front door might have been more acceptable,” The male said. “Though, whatever, we know what you’re here for anyway,”

From the dark, Renjun could make out a figure walking towards them. He had become leaner in the months that Renjun had not seen him. Face a little sunken but eyes the same fury. He felt cold, distant and suddenly, Renjun was afraid. 

Perhaps Donghyuck never wanted to come back after all. Perhaps this was again, another bad decision making on their part. 

Perhaps this was the official goodbye.

“Didn’t you know, no one leaves the Vision base alive?” 

Renjun’s eyes widened. He recognized that voice. The gun against his skin was held in a position that Renjun was far too familiar with. 

“It’s nice meeting you again, Renjun.”

  
“I never knew I had a neighbour,” 

Donghyuck looked up, a ghost of a smile on his smile. He held up his champagne flute.

“I never knew I had a mafia as a neighbour,”

Lucas chuckled. He looked ahead, not bothering to keep an eye on Donghyuck. Donghyuck assumed that he didn’t have to worry about getting potentially killed either. 

“Things we do, don’t we?” Lucas answered. “I never heard a government agent working with the mafia, however,”

“I need the assurance that I will be safe and not just me alone,” Donghyuck said. 

There was silence on both of their parts. Donghyuck didn’t expect them to talk the night away. They were both skilled shooters. If this conversation didn’t end up well, either of them could die tonight. But Donghyuck wasn’t looking to be dead. He was looking to be safe. 

“He’s doing well over there?”

“Better than when he was under Johnny, is the least I could say,” Lucas said. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes. And again, not just me.”

“It’s a tricky way out.”

“I don’t care.” Donghyuck replied as he looked over to where Lucas was over the balconies that separated their villas. “I’ve had enough of this. I want a way out and only your team can guarantee me this.”

Lucas looked at him, eyes calculating. “You won’t be alive after this is done,”

“I’ve already _died_ , so what’s one more death?” Donghyuck said, grinning. “Take me to Vision,”

“Does Johnny treat his agents terribly that I keep getting them running over to my base?” Kun asked, looking at the supposedly government agent in front of him.

Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders. “He’s not terrible but I hate the government,”

Kun sighed. “Can’t say I don’t feel the same. Does your little group know about this?”

“No,” Donghyuck answered, shaking his head. “But I’ve been planning to retire with them. If I went missing, they’ll look for me.”

“That much faith on a government assigned team?”

“We’ve been through a lot.”

Kun hummed. “You’re eager to get them out of there aren’t you?”

Donghyuck stared at him. “My team is stable. They’re strong and skillful in their own way. But we’re orphans. The government will not be easy on us. We’ve only gotten this far because they can’t kill us off. We need the assurance that we will be safe. In other words, I just want a peaceful life. They won’t provide me with that.”

“And you have the assurance that we will give you that here?”

“You saved Winwin,” Donghyuck answered, as if proving a point. 

Kun arched an eyebrow at him and Donghyuck rolled his eyes at him. 

"He goes by Sicheng here,"

"Right, Sicheng," Donghyuck sighed. “And you would’ve killed me at the front door if you think I was not beneficial for your little mafia gang. I have all the information you need. Take me and my team in and I’ll give you the details you need to overthrow the government.”

Kun huffed. “You think it’s that easy?”

“What more do you want? Me as a bait? I can do that,” 

“You’ll sacrifice yourself?”

“What? You think I’ll die easy?

“I have my doubts,”

Donghyuck leaned against his back. “ _Kill_ me on my next mission. I’ll be the bait you need to lure Johnny in.”

“And he would come save you?”

Donghyuck snorted. “Him? Of course not. But my team would and that will put him on alert. He would send someone in. Or some few if he is truly worried.”

“But why?” Kun asked. “What is it that you own that could possibly send Johnny in a panicking state?”

“I’m a corrupt government’s secret agent in an influential mafia base. Is that not threatening enough?”

Kun pursed his lips in thought. “Fair. I’ll take you up on that offer. You might have to think about your new identity, though. I can't cover you as Donghyuck,"

"Don't worry, I'm working on that," Donghyuck smiled. “I won’t disappoint you and I hope you won’t disappoint me either.”

He stood up, nodding his head at Kun before leaving his office. As he walked out, Donghyuck caught sight of a figure standing at the other side of the wall. Donghyuck grinned, walking over to him.

“I see you’re doing well here,” Donghyuck said. 

Sicheng gave him a sincere gaze. “For a mafia gang, they surely feel safer than back in the facility.”

“Yeah, the metal beds aren’t exactly fun to lay on,” Donghyuck mumbled.

“How is he?” Sicheng asked. 

“You’re not asking about me?”

“I see you here trying to make a deal with a mafia boss, I don’t think I have any worries.”

“Yeah. Well, he’s fine. But he would be better if we left. I want to take him somewhere safe.”

“It has become that dangerous there?”

“It has become concerning enough that I think it’s time to leave,”

Sicheng nodded his head. “Better late than never, I guess.” He looked at Donghyuck, assessing the other male. “He’s fond of you,”

Donghyuck stared back, eyes wide. Red filtered his cheeks, just enough for him to feel the heat but not quite obvious to be seen. “I’ll be damned if he doesn’t. I’m doing this for him,”

Sicheng smiled. He pat Donghyuck's shoulder. “I’ll see you soon then,”

“Can’t wait to work together again,”

"There's too many of them," 

"And enough experience on our part." Jaemin chimed in as he shot another guard. "We'll survive," 

"I've already alerted the Neozone base,"

"I told you we don't need back up!"

"Do you want to die pointlessly then?" 

Donghyuck huffed. "I won't die. I can't die anyways. Dying is for the weak."

"Continue being snobby and you might- Haechan, your right!"

A swift punch to his right and Donghyuck successfully knocked down a guard. "I got it, Injun." 

"Renjun, Renjun, we need to go-" 

"What?" 

"Renjun, we have to go," Jeno urged him, already pulling off his headset and grabbing Renjun by the wrist. 

"But Donghyuck and Jaemin-" 

"They'll be fine. Backup will come soon. We need to go, Renjun or they'll have us. Grab your gun, come on, let's go!"

Donghyuck heard the clattering of equipment in his earpiece. There was shuffling, perhaps a chair or two falling down in their haste to exit. And then there was silence, the quiet whirring of the electronic is the only thing he hears. 

“Jaemin!”

“What is it Hyuck? I need to fight like three guards here,”

“We need to split up,”

“What?” Jaemin hissed. “Are you crazy? There’s two of us and like dozens of them we can’t split up!”

“Jaemin, trust me,” Donghyuck urged. “We’ll split up after this batch. I'll meet you at headquarters, don’t worry,”

Jaemin was silent. The only noise you could hear was the sound of bodies thudding against the concrete floor and the usual groans after a punch. When the last of the guards fell down, Jaemin looked at him.

“Are you sure you’ll be safe?" Jaemin asked, concerned.

“Promise.”

Jaemin sighed. “We’ll split up. I’ll meet you at headquarters, alright?”

Donghyuck nodded his head and watched as Jaemin took the right while Donghyuck took left. The Angel’s Teardrop was still heavy in his bag. He rushed through the hallway maze, reaching one of the back doors where a black car was waiting. He slipped into the car, eyes making sure that no one noticed. 

“You need a prized necklace?” Donghyuck asked as Lucas sped through the gate.

"We have enough of those," Lucas said. “One of your friends called in backup, didn’t he?” 

“They wouldn’t come,”

“You sure of that?”

“A hundred percent. They want us dead. They’ll be happy to know that this mission went wrong,”

Lucas shook his head. “Your facility scares me. That other friend of yours, he’s got quite a punch. Some of us barely made it. You sure he’s going to be alright?”

“Those are all the Vision team, isn’t it?” Donghyuck asked. Lucas nodded his head. “Kun ordered a no kill, right?”

“No kill but enough harm to make it believable.”

Donghyuck nodded his head. “Great. Just make sure he gets to the facility safely.”

Lucas snorted. “With some scars, bruises and maybe a broken leg. That’s as safe as it can get,”

Donghyuck sighed, leaning against the seat. “Enough harm for the facility to consider their next course of action. Everything should be going as planned now.”

"Foolproof?" Lucas asked, looking at him through the rearview mirror. 

"Hopefully," Donghyuck mumbled. "Hei, I need another favour from you,"

"And that is?"

"I need you to protect Renjun,"

Lucas snorted. "What am I? A bodyguard?"

"Come on dude, I saved your ass once. You're just returning the favour now." Donghyuck pointed out. "It's not anything extreme. I just need you to stay at that villa we met." 

"Not break into the facility?" 

Donghyuck shook his head. "Unnecessary. They can't do anything to him while he's in the facility or it would be wrong on their part. But they'll ask him to leave the facility and he would leave for the villa. They'll attack him then,"

Lucas frowned. "I'll say this again but your facility scares me."

"You have no idea what more they can do," Donghyuck said. "I just need you to be around Renjun when he leaves the facility. That's when he'll be exposed to more danger." 

"And your two other teammates?"

"Jaemin and Jeno are safe. They won't leave the facility. At least not while my plan is still unfolding. It will affect them but not until they couldn't continue with their missions," Donghyuck explained. "Renjun, however… knowing that I'm dead will have him devastated. It would affect him, maybe not severely but Johnny would insist him to take a hiatus. Renjun will. He knows Johnny won't make an effort to search for me but Renjun will. He will leave the facility to devise a plan in search of me."

Lucas hummed, nodding his head. "You sure know him well, don't you?"

Donghyuck smiled. "I had years to discover him." 

Renjun stared at the scenery before him. The sun setting against the horizon was calming. The feeling of the coarse skin against his bare thigh made him feel more alive than he had felt in years. There was a body pressed against his back and Renjun leaned against it.

“What are you thinking about?” Donghyuck asked. 

“Stuff,” Renjun answered.

“We’re out of that hellhole and you still choose to think about stuff? Stop thinking,”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “One of us have to or we’re going to end up stupid.”

“You’re the stupid one,” Donghyuck said, sticking out his tongue like a child. “Sicheng said Kun wants to see us.”

“What? He hasn’t seen us in months. What does he want now?" Renjun asked. 

Donghyuck hit his thigh lightly. "Show some respect. He helped us get out of there. I think he wants to see how we’re doing."

Renjun rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Are Jaemin and Jeno coming too?”

“I don’t know. Aren’t Jaemin and Jeno in Cebu?”

“Why is it that the moment Jaemin and Jeno get freedom they decided to travel and here we are stuck in this country?”

“I thought you said you love Jeju?”

“It’s starting to get fairly boring, to be honest,”

Donghyuck chuckled. “Then, you want to go travel, Lee Injun?”

“Anywhere that is not near bad memories is a pleasant sight, Lee Haechan.” Renjun answered. 

“But aren’t I part of that bad memory too?” Donghyuck asked.

“No,” Renjun answered, looking at him. He smiled. “You’re the best memory I’ve made out of that hellhole.”

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY JAEHYUN AND VALENTINES DAY
> 
> if u enjoyed this consider buying me a [ coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/mikararinna)


End file.
